Continued from Divemaster Doggy – A Day In The Life
My diabolical plan came to an end when that evil, evil soul walked into the dive shop, with that maniacal grin upon his face. Mr. Ambi had arrived. Don’t tell anyone, but I am terrified of that man. He’s big and scary, and he walked into MY Temple Adventures with no fear at all of the precious and scary, big-toothed guard dog that was me. This was just not okay. If I had to sacrifice Julien’s nice swimsuit for affirming my dignity with Ambi, so be it. Although, that just broke my heart.
Up I got, revealing to the whole world the piece of smelly cloth under me, and began barking at the crazy Ambi-man. He needs to understand who’s in charge. He is a scary, scary man. I felt like I was being confronted with a three-headed monster…the only thing that scares me as much is the sound of Rob’s motorbike…and even that, I’m slowly getting over.
I bark and bark, and growl a bit and stamp my feet and I feel like a grand elephant. But Ambi isn’t perturbed in ANY way! Instead, he laughs at me (yes, he laughs!) and calls Julien…he points at the swimsuit. Julien takes it away. I lost my dignity and my swimsuit. And Julien didn’t even pet me! This morning was not my lucky morning at all. 🙁
Finally, the mean divers left for the dive. Relief. All the nice people slowly started coming in. Rosie and Elisa, and Rob and Sooshma…I love Sooshma. She takes away Lucy from me. For reasons I will never understand, some people actually like that cat. While Sooshma is having fun with Lucy, I am free to roam and visit my friends. Rob is upstairs and he gives me a bum-massage…mmmm..my favourite. Elisa sees me, and gives me a bit of the cat food….yummy!…Rosie sees me and wipes the floor so I can sleep on a cooler surface. These people are sooooooo nice! I stick my tongue out and look around as I find a spot once more. The day has improved considerably. My thoughts of Ambi almost went away.
And then, once again, a disturbance on the street was heard. I could smell the ruddy disturbance. It was the evil doggy from the next house. Black, overweight and with hardly any more fur than a guinea pig, he thought he ruled the kingdom..MY kingdom. He needed to be put into his place.
I ran to the balcony (Sooshma points and laughs at my moving bum…hmph!) and see Mr. Dog having a party on the street. He’s peeing on Rob’s bike tyres (blasphemous!) and chewing on a bit of old T shirt that belonged to Danny…MY Danny. HEY! He’s mine! Stop it, would you! And all that fat excuse for a dog did was turn around and yelp a little. Coward.
To make things worse, Elisa comes in and plays mother. She tells me to go down and teach him a lesson. But I can’t go down. I’m too delicate for this kind of foul play. But she insists, and my vanity takes the better of my fear, and I go, barking the whole way down through the stairs and out the door. Mr. Dog is still there, completely undisturbed, completely at home. My anger was rising, and I attempted to lunge at him with my big, scary, smelly teeth. But he was quicker! How does something so fat and ugly move so swiftly? Damn him! He caught my neck and the whole street came out to watch Tinku being shamed by the Ugly One. I was devastated.
And you know how this awful, awful morning ended? I got a notification from Facebook that they cancelled my account, because I wasn’t a human! So guys, if you want to keep in touch with me, you simply have to come to the Dive Centre and do a dive with me. I’d be happy to, especially since I am currently a part of the Instructor Development Course and will be a Scuba Instructor soon! See you guys on the other side!